yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
