SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Randomize
