Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize