Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize