We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
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on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
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