A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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