:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
