HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Randomize
