How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
