dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
