I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
