I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
