he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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