You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Randomize