kristin has been a bad kristin
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Randomize
