that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
