But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
