So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
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