I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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