the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
