bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
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I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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