is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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