The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize