He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
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