are you still at the devil's house?
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Terrible idea I love it
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Panties = found
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