Define "chronic" masturbator.
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
