I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
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