dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I intend to get homeless drunk
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Randomize
