I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
