You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Randomize