Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
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