brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
