Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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