I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
