WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
