Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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