he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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