it hurts more in the daytime
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
