my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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