I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
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Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
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It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
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