I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
