Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
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