ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
You are the jesus of drinking
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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