Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
