So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
