his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
