I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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