I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
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She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
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I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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