I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize