with your own penis?
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
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