decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
