Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
My breasts were aching with rage.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Randomize
