how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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