he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla