yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
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