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• (207): View more from Maine

  The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.

  (207): View more from Maine

  welcome to maine.

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• (407): View more from Florida

  I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.

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• (336): View more from North Carolina

  I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.

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• (231): View more from Michigan

  Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever

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• 

  25 People Confess The Most Awkward Situation They’ve Ever Been In

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• (541): View more from Oregon

  I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.

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• (618): View more from Illinois

  It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.

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• (818): View more from California

  The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling

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• (573): View more from Missouri

  I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."

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• (916): View more from California

  If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present

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• 

  These Are 21 Of The Most Delusional People Ever

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• (619): View more from California

  Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.

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• (503): View more from Oregon

  ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.

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• (907): View more from Alaska

  Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.

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• (604): View more from British Columbia

  I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"

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• (708): View more from Illinois

  Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.

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• (913): View more from Kansas

  Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am

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