wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"