Texts From Last Night

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  (813): View more from Florida

  you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?

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  (813): you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you? http://tfl.nu/35zi
  Replies (12) Good night (3007) Bad night (1084)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?

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  (203): Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton? http://tfl.nu/kum0
  Replies (22) Good night (1401) Bad night (4485)
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  (416): View more from Ontario

  He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.

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  (416): He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed. http://tfl.nu/o4xt
  Replies (46) Good night (8038) Bad night (927)
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  (580): View more from Oklahoma

  i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out

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  (580): i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out http://tfl.nu/gevy
  Replies (64) Good night (1188) Bad night (9934)
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  (509): View more from Washington

  def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.

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  (509): def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout. http://tfl.nu/bt4a
  Replies (5) Good night (4268) Bad night (1140)
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  (660): View more from Missouri

  I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.

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  (660): I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better. http://tfl.nu/xn35
  Replies (45) Good night (4514) Bad night (1433)
• Favorite

  (845): View more from New York

  He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love

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  (845): He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love http://tfl.nu/i52c
  Replies (12) Good night (5396) Bad night (1436)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces

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  (443): And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces http://tfl.nu/q5gv
  Replies (6) Good night (764) Bad night (1895)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'

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  (615): I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA' http://tfl.nu/bh1s
  Replies (3) Good night (1937) Bad night (733)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.

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  (850): Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks. http://tfl.nu/uggh
  Replies (24) Good night (1480) Bad night (813)
• Favorite

  (845): View more from New York

  My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...

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  (845): My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's... http://tfl.nu/cszb
  Replies (1) Good night (866) Bad night (596)
• Favorite

  (270): View more from Kentucky

  I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.

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  (270): I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once. http://tfl.nu/lr7p
  Replies (6) Good night (833) Bad night (484)
• Favorite

  (434): View more from Virginia

  You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater

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  (434): You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater http://tfl.nu/8eoi
  Replies (6) Good night (994) Bad night (371)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.

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  (425): I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled. http://tfl.nu/8xcn
  Replies (1) Good night (780) Bad night (322)
• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.

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  (614): Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk. http://tfl.nu/mqv9
  Replies (2) Good night (309) Bad night (663)

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