So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
