So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I think your dad took our porno
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize
