My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
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It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
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No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...