He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
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