But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
25 People Confess The Most Ignorant Thing Someone Has Ever Said To Them
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial