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Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
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