i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
They have beer where we have blood.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Randomize
