Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
