it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
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