I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize