you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
